Being single in your 40's

I've got a couple of friends who are single, one of which has very recently seperated from their partner and i've been watching and commenting on the various aspects of dealing with things like dating and breaking up.

It's made me think about a few things and I guess to analyse my own situation a little deeper.

As you may, or may not know, i'm divorced and have been in a relationship for coming up 9 years. There's no driving desire to get married or anything. Perhaps 4 or 5 years ago it was something I felt was important but for one reason and another (primarily I guess coz I wasn't asked! *lol*) it didn't happen and now, I feel kind of over it if that makes sense? I guess I just don't need to be married and figure that life is going to take it's course regardless of whether I have that piece of paper and if I'm perfectly honest with myself, I suppose that it makes things less complicated if anything were to happen and the relationship ended.

I think marriage is a wonderful thing by the way. I'm not so jaded as not to think anyone should get married but I just don't think it's all that important anymore. It would be nice to go to a wedding though *l* I love weddings and I suppose i'm at the age where they just don't happen that frequently unless you have a large family and lots of neices and nephews or your own children are at that age.

If anything, I think that I would rather have a commitment ceremony (and in my case, it would be a handfasting) but even that is not something I have on my "must get done" list. If it happens, it does.

I'm thinking back and remembering what it was like to be single and having to go through that whole dating and meeting new people process. It's a lot easier when you are younger of course as you tend to move around in large groups or come into contact with a lot of people by the very social life that you lead but as you get older, it becomes a little more difficult.

Between my seperation and becoming involved with my current relationship, I guess there was a period of around 18 months where I was single. I gotta say, that those 18 months were probably the greatest learning time of my life. I did a lot of stuff then that I look back on now and think, OMG, risky!!! Having said that though, I got a lot of very positive stuff from it, even though sometimes it felt crap at the time, now, I appreciate that it was part of my learning path and necessary for me to grow.

I'm happy in my current relationship. Not like ecstatic or anything. I don't mean to sound at all negative or anything either. I guess it's the familiarity and it's become kind of "my life" now. We had some serious issues in the early years but I truly think they were things I needed to go through and lessons that I needed to learn. I'm more empathetic and definitely less judgemental because of those issues. I truly believe we need to go through some things just purely for the experience of them and to, hopefully, learn from them.

I wouldn't care to be out there trying to find the right partner at my age anymore. I hope that I don't ever have to do that again but, I'm a practical type person and I never say never. Let's face it, I would never have got married in the first place had I thought it would fail. You must never go into something thinking about when it might end or you'd drive yourself mad.

I hope these lovely ladies I know find what they are looking for and I'm certain that at the right time and when it matters, they will. In the meantime, all I can do is send them positive energy and lots of loving thoughts and keep reminding them how beautiful and deserving they are.

Blessed be,
C xxx